It was one of those meetings where everything seemed right.
Eight smart people. Experience. Responsibility. Good intentions.
The appointment was important enough not to postpone. The topic complex enough not to clarify on the side.
Everyone was there. Cameras on. Calendars blocked.
The first few minutes went well. A quick check-in. A few nods. Agreement.
Then the talking began.
One thought led to the next. One objection pulled another along. Some things were repeated, others elegantly bypassed.
After twenty minutes, everyone had said something. But nothing was clearer than before.
One person started, broke off, and leaned back. Another took over and continued speaking. Not dominant. Not intentional. Simply because there was space.
At minute forty-five, someone made the point that should have been at the beginning. There was no time left to clarify it.
“Let's dive deeper into this in the next meeting,” someone said. Everyone nodded.
The meeting ended on time. With the diffuse feeling of having been busy without having solved anything.
Nobody had done anything wrong. And that was exactly the problem.
The uncomfortable pattern
Many meetings don't fail because of motivation, competence, or openness. They fail because they're built on something that's unfair.
Free speaking seems democratic. But it's not.
It favors people who formulate quickly. Who react spontaneously. Who dare to express unfinished thoughts.
Quiet voices lose. Unfinished thoughts disappear. Important topics come too late or not at all.
Not because someone suppresses them. But because the structure that protects them is missing.
What meetings really need
Good meetings don't need a better moderator. They need a framework that guides conversations without controlling them.
A moment of silence before speaking. Visible prioritization before discussing. Clear time windows so focus emerges. And a place where decisions are captured as they arise.
Structure isn't a straitjacket. It's the prerequisite for good people to make good decisions together.
The next step
Maybe you don't need a better team. Maybe you just need meetings that are built differently.
Meetings where silence is allowed. Where topics are collected before they're discussed. Where what's really important becomes visible. And where decisions don't happen by chance.
I've spent the last few months building a small tool for exactly this. It doesn't force anyone to do anything. It just provides structure where conversations otherwise fray.
If you're curious about how such a meeting feels, just try it out. No account. No setup. One link is enough.